Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday Funny--Chuck Norris Style!!

I don't know how popular these Chuck Norris jokes are in the States, but there's a radio show here in Toronto that has a blast with them every once in a while, so I thought I'd share a few with you. Of course, you have to be at least as old as I am to recognize the basis for the humour...

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Courtesy of


Tiffany Chalmers said...

Hey I'm Torontonian and I haven't heard most of those.... lol!

My dad liked CN while I was growing up.

Shelley Munro said...

Hey I liked those, especially the one about staring a book down. ;)

Wylie Kinson said...

LOL!! Those are ridiculous fun!!
I've read a similar style list on Michael Phelps just after he won all those Olympic golds.

J.K. Coi said...

I don't know why I laugh so hard at these, but I do...every damn time.